Away From You
by GeorgeBoo
Summary: Freddie ran away, but what happens when the call of Spencer and his 'family' is too strong?  -Couples: Freddie and duh, Spencer... And Carly and Sam.  Rating: M, because that seemed safest.
1. Away From You

I feel bad to be starting another fanfiction, when it seems that I can never finish them, but my goal for the month is to finish them!

I don't own iCarly, if I did, I highly doubt they'd still be on TV, I mean, I have LGBT couples everywhere. I mean, CARLY and SAM, SPENCER and FREDDIE… There would be riots of people if it was on tv.

-….-

Freddie's P.O.V.

Freddie grimaced. He woke up to being alone. But he should be use to this cold existence by now, but he never was. No matter how many months past, no matter how many seasons past, he was alone and it showed. Freddie couldn't feel anything but muted feelings. Sadness, Happiness, Anger, Depression, they were all muted by a sort of numbness. It was like the world was passing him by but he was stuck in place.

He had cut himself off, from everything that mattered. It showed in his face that looked like it hadn't smiled since the day he ran off. The way he did his work was like he cared about getting it done, but he didn't care to be there at all. Same with his apartment, it was furnished, and looked comfortable, but it was more like a show room than an actual home. But it would never be home, home was across from Carly and Spencer, home was warmth and happiness and having his mother nag at him through the phone.

He knew they were probably wondering where the hell he went. But Freddie didn't care so much. Even that was muted. Freddie wasn't fully a hermit, but he didn't have people he enjoyed around him. He went out with co-workers, but none of them were more than that. He didn't have any one special in his life because the only one for him was so far away. He was lonely, tired, and bored of this existence, but he had to admit, being alone fit him like a second skin.

It was better than what his past had to offer, companionship it had, but it would have hurt too much. The questions about why he was still single, why he wasn't looking into marriage, who Spencer was going out with… Who Spencer was going to marry. Not because he was against Spencer being happy, but… Freddie loved Spencer, with his whole heart. To be around the one you love while they love another can be worst than death.

It was stupid that one word, one stupid little word, had scared him away from everything. And the word was straight. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T, Spencer was the s-to-the-t word. No chances for male Freddie in there at all. None. He wasn't going to put the moves on someone who was incapable of giving them back. Spencer's sexuality was Spencer's, no one but him could change it.

-/1/-

Spencer 's P.O.V.

Spencer got up, he didn't want to, but just because his heart was broken wasn't a good enough reason to not do anything. Especially since it seemed like it wouldn't get fixed until Freddie came back. Which seemed like it wasn't going to happen. No calls, no emails, no snail mail, nothing since he left. He didn't even say goodbye to us, Spencer thought.

Life in general had started to feel like a drag without the cute techie, without his male friend in their little family of mostly females. There was a hole that couldn't be fixed with dates, or art, or anything really. And that spot belonged to Freddie. Sometimes Spencer blamed himself for Freddie's disappearance, even through his note had said something about needing a break from everything. Spencer blamed himself because maybe he had made it too obvious that he had feelings a little more than 'friendly' for Freddie. Which was completely wrong! Freddie is his sister's age, he had watched him grow up into the brown eye wonder he was when he left!

Spencer finally decided that that was enough, and that it was time to get up, get dressed, and do something productive.

"Hey Carls!" Spencer said, going out into the kitchen, thinking that he'd have to make breakfast, but Carly and Sam where already making. It must be a weekend, he decided. Usually Carly and Sam where gone already. Sam moved in after college because her mom had eloped off with some guy. But even if her mom hadn't ran off, she'd probably move in anyways. It was impossible not to realize that she and Carly were in love. It was sweet, really, but it made Spencer feel that hole a whole lot more.

"Hey Spence." Sam said, smiling at him as she was setting the table. It wasn't unusual to have Sam so happy at him, but it was obvious that something was going on.

"Hi Spencer!" Carly said, in that voice she used when she was trying to cover something.

"Sam? Why do we have four plates? - Last time I counted there are only three of us." I said, looking at her.

"Because Mrs. Benson is coming over." Carly answered, tipping Spencer off. It wasn't a holiday, was it? Since Freddie had left, Mrs. Benson would stop by, but most of the time she came over was holidays and special dates, like birthdays.

"What's the date?" I asked, wondering what the hell was so important that Mrs. Benson would have to come over.

"March 5th." Sam answered, waiting for Spencer to make the connection. It was surprising that he forgot, but he quickly remembered.

"Shit. Freddie's birthday, right?" Spencer said, turning around and heading back to his bedroom. The hole never felt bigger.

-/1/-

Freddie's P.O.V.

Happy birthday to me, He thought. It wasn't all that happy, nor did it feel like his birthday. It felt like a regular day. Maybe somewhere else people were celebrating, but he wasn't. He never left Seattle, but he never had the impulse to go near there, near where he use to live. But today it was like there was a beacon, a pulse that was pulling him there. Freddie liked to believe it was the fact that he felt incomplete, and needed to see his 'family'.

So he decided, that for once he'd break his set rules and just sit across the street and have a smoothie. He sat there, by the window, with a medium smoothie and a donut, staring at the building. It looked like it had gotten some repairs, but it didn't seem to have changed that much at all. It was as if Carly and Sam where coming to meet him to just hang out.

Freddie noticed someone exciting the building and making they're way towards the smoothie shop. Someone with black hair, someone who had dominated his heart for as long as he could remember…. Spencer. The sight of Spencer hit him like a ton of bricks to his chest. Spencer was running towards him. It was a slim chance that Spencer actually knew he was there, but still! Spencer… Was coming into the building. Suddenly Freddie didn't know what to do. He hadn't changed that much since the last time he saw Spencer, and neither did Spencer, other than the fact that it seems that Spencer had bags under his eyes, but that could have been an art piece.

Freddie decided to just take out his cap from his bag and keep his face down. If Sam had been there, she would have made fun of him for his Man-purse. He heard Spencer come in and go up and get a smoothie. Berry-Berry Surprise. It didn't 'surprise' Freddie that Spencer was going for the smoothing that seemed to be the only one that didn't say what it was made of. Freddie spied out from underneath his cap at his black haired beauty. Spencer chose a seat where Freddie could see him, but Freddie was sure that unless Spencer turned to his side and looked straight at him, he wouldn't notice him.

Freddie drank in his looks, from his hair that seemed to be a bit longer than he use to have it, to his brown eyes, that were looking at a sketch book. Freddie wondered what he was drawing, but made no move to find out. It would have been too risky anyways. So Freddie left it to his imagination. Spencer was wearing a checkered shirt and a pair of ass complimenting jeans. Seeing Spencer after only thinking of him made Freddie feel more alive. If being these close to him for ten minutes made him feel more alive, what would happen if Freddie stayed around here more often? - He would probably be caught, but it was nice to feel again. To see Spencer again, made the daydreams he had come back to mind. The ones where he had Spencer right where he wanted him.

-….-

To comment, or not to comment, that is the question.

Next Chapter should be up as soon as I write it.


	2. Found You

It's the second chapter! DADA DA DAAAAA

I don't own iCarly, but I do own my imagination.

-/2/-

Spencer's P.O.V.

Spencer quickly got dressed and ran out of the apartment. Today was Freddie's birthday. He didn't want to sit around there and listen to Mrs. Benson remember, nor did he just want to lie around. Maybe if he waited at the smoothie shop long enough, she'd leave. They would all leave and he could go back and mope. Mope about how he doesn't have Freddie. That at this rate, he'd be alone forever.

When Spencer finally reached the smoothie place, he was feeling better. Better in the way that he was out of that breakfast. Out and pretending that everything was fine. That he'd see Freddie later. He walked up to the counter, and ordered a Berry-Berry Surprise. It was one of their newer concoctions, and it didn't say what it was made out of. Spencer just guessed that it had what it's name said, Berry's. He sat down and felt like someone was watching him.

Spencer peaked out of the corner of his eye, and just saw a man in a button down shirt and jeans, with a cap over his face, reading the newspaper on his table. Spencer wished he could go over there and take off the cap, because the mystery man had hair the same color as Freddie, which wasn't unusual, a lot of people had brown hair.

But there was just something about this person. Spencer decided to ignore him, and try to see if he could draw the guy without looking, so that he'd have the guy forever pinned down on paper. Maybe that would help him figure out what was so important about this man. Spencer drew the curve of his cap, then the little peaking chin, then his neck, and the rest of his body. He drew in his clothing, and stared at it. Most people would be blown away at the way he had captured him, but all that mattered to Spencer was the fact that the build of this man was like Freddie's.

But it couldn't be Freddie, could it? No way in hell it could be. He had gone away. Said he was going far away. What if he hadn't? What if he had been in Seattle the whole time? –The idea both annoyed him and made him happy. If Freddie had never left after all, why did he avoid them like they didn't matter?- Stop thinking this way, Spencer, he thought to himself. You need to think clearly. It probably wasn't Freddie anyways. He wouldn't show up here if he didn't want to see us.

-/2/-

Freddie's P.O.V.

Spencer had stopped drawing, and seemed to be thinking of something. Freddie watched as he curled his hand into a fist and watched as he uncurled it. What had Spencer thought of that made him so angry? Freddie hoped that it wasn't him. But if it was… Then that meant Spencer cared!

Freddie had stopped paying attention to the world outside of Spencer, and was shocked when he noticed a blonde walking up to Spencer. He quickly realized that it was Sam… Touching Spencer on the shoulder and speaking to him. Freddie could hear what they were saying.

"Hey, buddy. You have to get back to breakfast. Carly's worrying." Sam said, placing her hand on his head and stroking his hair. Freddie was furious and jealous. How come Sam got to do all those things? The things that Freddie could only dream of doing?

"I don't want to go back. Can you tell Carly that I'll be back later?" Spencer said, looking up at Sam. Sam just nodded and walked off. It was incredibly short of a conversation, but Freddie stuck to every word and movement of it.

When Sam passed by, he tightened up. Hoping that she wouldn't notice him. If she did, he'd be out in the open. They'd be angry at him. Angry for his leaving and angry that he couldn't give a good explination at all. They'd claim he was selfish. Freddie agreed that he was, but at the same time, it was to preserve himself.

He looked back at Spencer, who seemed to be staring at whatever he drew, before turning and looking straight at Freddie. Of course, Freddie acted like a normal person would after being caught staring. He looked away. He pretended to be more interested in his drink than he was at Spencer. Freddie heard Spencer get up, and walk towards him. Freddie began to freak out on the inside. What was going on?

-/2/-

Spencer's P.O.V.

Sam came into the shop, scaring the hell out of Spencer. He didn't know she knew his hiding spot, but it seemed like she does.

"Hey, buddy. You have to get back to breakfast. Carly's worrying." Sam said, putting her arm on his head, and stroking Spencer's hair. Spencer felt like melting. Whenever Sam did that he liked to pretend that Freddie would do the same.

"I don't want to go back. Can you tell Carly I'll be back later?" Spencer said, looking up at her. Sam just nodded before making her way out of the store. Spencer looked down at his drawing again, before feeling the stare of the drawing subject again. Spencer turned again to look at the man, who looked away and was obviously pretending that his smoothie cup was more interesting than anything else in the world.

Spencer got up, grabbed his things, and decided to join the stranger that reminded him so much of Freddie.

"Why, Hello there, I'm Spencer. I haven't seen you around here before, are you new?" Spencer asked, smiling at the stranger. Who seemed to stiffen when he sat down.

"Hello, I'm….." The stranger said, before standing up and putting the paper under his arm. "Leaving." He added, before running out. For some strange reason, Spencer had the feeling that he should follow him. If he didn't, he had the feeling that he would miss out on a chance to be truly happy again.

"Hey, wait!" Spencer called out, holding all his stuff, AND the man's smoothie, as he ran after him. The man seemed to know the way around the place, but when he reached his car, he seemed to be fumbling quite a lot. He also kept looking back at Spencer, almost daring him to get close enough to take off his cap.

-/2/-

Freddie's P.O.V.

To Freddie's dismay, Spencer indeed went up to him, and sat at his table.

"Why, Hello there, I'm Spencer. I haven't seen you around here before, are you new?" Spencer asked, smiling at him. Freddie stiffened. There Spencer was, sitting irresistibly close. And he didn't know that he was sitting across from Freddie.

"Hello, I'm….." Freddie said, before freaking and picking up his things quickly, stuffing the paper under his arm. "Leaving." He decided, before running out. He knew Spencer was following him, he could hear it in the way that he wasn't the only one running on the packed Seattle streets.

"Hey, wait!" Spencer called out. Freddie weighed the idea of listening to him, to the idea of getting away. Getting away held more pros. Freddie finally reached his car, but he couldn't keep his fingers from shaking. He couldn't help but drop his keys before finding the right one. He couldn't help but look back at Spencer, who had all his things, a jacket, a drawing book, and two smoothies. Only Spencer would care that someone left behind a smoothie, Freddie smiled. Maybe he should wait… But he couldn't, he wouldn't.

Spencer reached him before he could find the right key after dropping them for the fourth time since getting to his car.

"Hey, buddy, you forgot this." Spencer said, passing it to Freddie, just the way that they're hands grazed each others made Freddie drop his keys. He felt weightless. Happier than he had been in a while. Happier than the time that Carly had kissed him.

"Thanks." Freddie answered, remembering his manners at a time like this was a feat. His heart was beating fast and furious. Spencer was so close. Close enough that if he wanted to, he could just lean in and kiss him.

"So… I'm sorry if I freaked you out, it's just you remind me of someone I haven't seen in a while." Spencer said, putting his sketch book on Freddie's car hood, to put on his jacket.

"It's alright." Freddie said. So far Spencer had done most of the talking. Freddie had only said about six words.

"So, like I said, I'm Spencer, and I'm pretty sure your name isn't Leaving, or Stranger man." Spencer said, teasing Freddie.

"Yes, actually, it's Leaving." Freddie said, laughing enough to let Spencer know it wasn't actually Leaving.

"Well then, Leaving, you wouldn't mind me taking off your cap, would you?- I've been dying to find out who you are." Spencer asked. Freddie felt like dying, Spencer wanted to know who he was. And he couldn't leave, because that would be rude.

"Sure." Freddie said, his heart in his throat as Spencer lifted his cap off. Freddie wished he could jest die as his eyes met the elder males. Spencer's eyes held a bunch of different emotions after the cap wasn't hiding Freddie. Shock, Confusion, Joy, Desire, Lust, and finally, Anger. Freddie got a little worried, but before he could say anything… Spencer kissed him. Freddie was shocked, but soon he was just as much into the kiss as Spencer. He grabbed at Spencer, lacing his hands into Spencer's soft, silky hair. Spencer pulled Freddie against him, putting his arms around Freddie tightly.

-/2/-

Comment, or don't. It doesn't really matter.


	3. Why? Because

Sorry that this took a while, but I just HAD to finish the story, and only now am in the perfect writing conditions, tired, hungry, and feeling creative :) I needed to finish this story not only for everyone else who might be reading, but for myself. It's hard to not write anything, it's like you leave this gigantic white void that just bothers you, but at the same time… There are just so many ways to take this story, and that's the challenging part.

-/3/-

Spencer's P.O.V.

Spencer decides that it's either forever questioning if that was really Freddie, or finding out. Even if it wasn't him, it was better than forever question, forever knowing that maybe, just maybe, that had been Freddie and he had missed his chance. Spencer gets up, placing his things into his arms, jacket and sketchbook in one, his smoothie in the other. Time to find out.

"Why, Hello there, I'm Spencer. I haven't seen you around here before, are you new?" Spencer asks, playing the part of the interested, friendly neighbour. It was a better approach than 'Freddie, is that you?', and the embarrassments of if it wasn't his Freddie.

"Hello, I'm….." The stranger in front of him said, taking a moment to decide if he was going to introduce himself or not."Leaving." He decided, before running out. Spencer was shocked, but decided that he should probably follow the stranger, because the desire, the crazy idea, that it was Freddie was stronger than ever, and as an excuse, the stranger man, whose name was in no way 'Leaving', had left his not fully drank smoothie.

"Hey, wait!" Spencer called out. The stranger, who he was tempted to call Freddie now, didn't stop until he reached a car. Standing beside the driver's door, he seemed to have problems, not finding his car keys, dropping them, being distracted by the fact that Spencer was getting ever closer to him. Spencer reached him just as he was on the verge of finding his keys. Luckily for him, the stranger didn't just find them and drive away.

"Hey, buddy, you forgot this." Spencer said, passing it to the other guy, their hands brushing with an electrifying tingle. He notices with amusement that the stranger, or 'Leaving' has dropped his keys again.

"Thanks." Fred- the stranger, answers.

"So… I'm sorry if I freaked you out, it's just you remind me of someone I haven't seen in a while." Spencer said, putting his sketch book on the stranger's car hood, to put on his jacket.

"It's alright." He answers, staring down at their feet.

"So, like I said, I'm Spencer, and I'm pretty sure your name isn't Leaving, or Stranger man." Spencer said, teasing the man in front of him.

"Yes, actually, it's Leaving." He jokes, laughing at the absurd idea of being named 'Leaving'.

"Well then, Leaving, you wouldn't mind me taking off your cap, would you?- I've been dying to find out who you are." Spencer asks, looking a little excited to see if this man really was Freddie.

"Sure." The guy answers. Lifting up his cap, Spencer is met with the familiar, if not slightly more mature, face of Freddie. He studied Freddie's face, memorizing and comparing him to his younger Freddie. Freddie gets a nervous look in his eyes, and begins to open his mouth to say something, and Spencer silences him with a kiss, full of his own need and desire to finally have his lips on Freddie's, just like in his dreams.

-/3/-

Freddie's P.O.V.

"Why?" Spencer asks, just that one word, is filled with so many feelings, months of longing. It was obviously the question that had tormented them both, why?- Why leave without telling them? Why not contact them sooner? Why did you kiss me back? Why did you leave me if you felt the same way?- that one word spoke all those questions and more.

"Because…" Freddie answers, unsure of what else to say. Because…. Because I couldn't handle it, Because I didn't want to, Because I love you, Because I didn't know. "If I had known, I would have stayed, Spencer."

"Then why today? Why today of all days?" Spencer questions. Freddie didn't come home for his 19th birthday, so what was different about this year?

"I don't know. I felt like it, I guess. I needed to be close to you again, I needed to be close to the building, to my mom, to Carly and to Sam. I needed something familiar." Freddie answers, staring out of his windshield. After the kiss, he and Spencer had gotten into the car to go to a little place Freddie knew of. A perfect place to explain himself, to talk about his barren life.

"Freddie." Spencer said in almost a whisper, almost if he couldn't believe that they were once again, together, having this conversation.

"Yes?" Freddie asks, with a sad sort of smile, both pleased to be beside Spencer again, surprised to feel his emotions at full, and a little sad that he was caught. Who knew what was different now? Spencer may have kissed him, but it had been a year, a lot of things can change in a year.

-/3/-

Hope you enjoyed :)

I know it's not super duper long, just two P.O.V's, but… What can I say? - I'll work on doing this steadily.


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